The Rainbow War was fought during the 1950s. This war is similar to the civil war of the United States. When this war began, people were trying to get equal rights to marriage. Because the country was so divided in this, we went to war. The reds, those against same-sex marriage, consisted of Minnesota, Louisiana, Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, and everything else to the east. The blues, those for same-sex marriage, consisted of everything west. After battling for a short 2 years, the government concluded to divide the country in two.
“Okay, class. Is everyone done reading the first paragraph of the lesson?” Mrs. James looked around the room for confirmation and then continued. “This war wasn’t only about same-sex marriage that was just a part of it. It was also about adoption rights and discrimination laws. For example, if those people were still allowed to live with us, a baker could refuse to employ them and not get in trouble.” She looked down at her book and smiled. “Colt, could you tell us a little about Captain James Jarr?”
I sat up in my chair and took a breath. “He was my great-grandfather. He died when he was 33, he would’ve been 100 in a week. He died winning the war, I don’t know how though.”
“Yes! If not for Captain James, we would be forced to stand by and watch same-sex couples live like us.” She spoke. For some reason the sentence made my heart hurt. It was probably because I was grossed out by someone wanting to live like that.
“If you want, Miss, I can see if I can bring some of his things in tomorrow.” She nodded enthusiastically.
Class let out and I walked out of class with Tom, my best friend, at my side. “Ugh, I can’t believe we have to learn about this. It’s from over 60 years ago! It’s nothing like either of the world wars. It’s not like history is going to repeat itself there, you know?” He complained.
“I know what you mean, man,” I said with a smile causing him to smile back. He looks nice I mentally cringed at my thoughts, why was I being gross?
# # #
“Mom, I’m home!” I hollered as I walked into the house. I went to the kitchen to see her chopping a head of lettuce on the island. She looked up from what she was doing and smiled. “Do you know where in the attic is Grandpa James’ stuff? I was thinking of bringing some of it to class.”
“Of course, you can bring some of his things to class. I’m sure they’d love that! Everything of his in an old chest in the right far corner. Just don’t break anything.” I nodded.
I made my way to the attic entrance, not wanting to waste any more time. The attic was always a place that I avoided at all costs. It was dark, creepy, and just freaked me out. The door creaked open, and the stairs made a noise on almost every step. The attic didn’t have very must stuff in it, mostly just seasonal things for Halloween and Christmas. I easily made my way to my grandfather’s footlocker. It was dusty and looked worn-down like it had been used a lot. Made since Grandpa had it during the war.
Nervously, I opened the chest, not knowing what to expect. Dust flew through the air causing me to wave my hand in front of my face. There was a pile of clothes neatly folded on top. I carefully moved the clothes and set them down next to the chest. Next was a few papers, nothing of interest, just documents of his service. I took those out and put them on the clothes. The next was his tools, a few knives, his boots, and other knickknacks.
My eyes caught a small green metal box in the chest. Curiously, I picked it up but when I tried to open it, it was locked. Along with the knickknacks was a utility knife, so I used that to pry the box open. There were letters upon letters inside. I picked one up and started to read it, but froze in shock at the words.
Jason,
I know it’s wrong, but I can no longer hide my feelings for you. My heart squeezes every time I hear one of my men curse the people we are fighting. I look at you and I feel happy, happier than looking at Mary. On the odd day, I get to see you in person, my head goes light when you smile. I have a wife, but when I’m fighting in this god-forsaken war, all I can think about if that if I die, I won’t be able to look at you anymore.
I trust you enough to know that if you don’t return my feelings, you won’t turn me in. I think I’ve fallen in love with you Jason, and I want to be with you.
I was shocked. My great-grandfather was one of them? How could that be possible? More importantly, why did those feelings sound so familiar? Were those feelings not normal for friends? I decided to read more to see if I could find an answer, this time finding a letter to my grandpa.
James,
I can’t begin to say how relieved I felt when I read your letter. Learning that you feel the same, my heart never felt so full. I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember, when I look at you all I can think is how can someone so perfect be real? But this can’t happen, if we are found out, we could be killed. I don’t want death, and I don’t want to be the cause of yours. I love you; I do, I would give everything I have to be yours, but I could never ask you to do the same. How can I willingly put your life and mine at risk?
There was no doubt, my great-grandfather was one of them. His lover’s feelings felt a lot more familiar, they felt like what I feel… towards Tom. It was crazy for anyone to feel anything towards Tom, but he was my best friend and if you knew what to say, he wasn’t that bad of a person. I had known him for almost my whole life, and he had a way of making me agree with what he said. I had figured out what that way was in that moment.
My Dearest Jason,
It’s almost time, soon I won’t be on the front lines, and I’ll have an opportunity to escape. We’ll be able to be together and make it to the west. We can be happy, together.
Grandpa wanted to run away. It made sense to want to be with the person you love. I dug through the box and found one of the last letters.
Jason,
I’m sorry to do this to you. I truly am, but I just got a letter from Mary. She didn’t tell me; I swear I didn’t know. She told me that she just had my son. I have a son and I can’t be with you. I will always love you and I will never forget you. I’m so sorry.
I looked at the date sadly. Grandpa was going to leave his lover for the family but he died before he could come home; before he could meet his son.
My mind was still buzzing with the new information. The feelings they talked about in the letters were all too familiar, the heart squeezes, the thoughts. My eyes widened as I had a thought. I was in love with Tom. If grandpa confessed to his best friend and it turned out fine, maybe I could do the same. Tom was a good enough friend, I doubted that he would report me if he didn’t feel the same. I nodded to myself and made my way out of the Attic.
# # #
My hands were shaking as I knocked on Tom’s front door. I may have been confident about my decision, but I wasn’t confident in actually telling him. I took a deep breath as the front door opened; it was Tom.
“Hey man, what’s up?” he asked as he gave me a friendly smile. My heart felt like it was about to crawl out of my throat.
“Hey, you know how we were talking about my grandpa during history?” I asked, he nodded so I continued. “Well, when I got home, I found some of his old letters. A-and reading them made me realize what I’ve been feeling. I know that is probably isn’t something that you’ll want to hear but I need to tell you.” He looked confused but before he could say anything I kept going. “Tom, I think I like you.”
“What?” His face grew into a look of disgust. “I can’t believe I was so stupid to not see the signs. I can’t believe that something so disgusting has been sitting right next to me for so long. Oh my god! We had sleepovers!” He took a step back, into his house, “Did you do something to me while I slept?” He glared at me.
Well, that definitely wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. My heart sank at his harsh words, “How can you say that? I’m still me, I’ve just found out a new thing about myself.” He rolled his eyes at me.
“Yeah right. You’re disgusting. I’ll be reporting you to the police, and your parents.” He finished and slammed the door so hard the wind rushed past me. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
If he reacted like this how will my parents take this? My eyes widened at the thought. I quickly left Tom’s house and made my way back to my own.
# # #
When I made it to my house, my dad wasn’t home yet, so I had time to tell my mom. “Mom!” I yelled as I ran through the door she jumped in surprise. She was sitting in the living room, watching TV. I quickly walked into the room fully and stood in front of the TV. “Mom, I need to tell you something. I wanted to be the one to tell you because Dad probably already knows. I found these letters in grandpa’s footlocker.” Her eyes widened, “I read them, and I realized that that is how I feel- felt towards Tom. I stupidly told him and now he is reporting me.”
She was calm for a moment, then stood up and walked to me. She held my face in her hands and sighed. “You can be so careless sometimes. It reminds me of your father. You are my baby; I will love you no matter what you do. Now, you go pack a bag and put it in the trunk of my car.” I stood there in shock. Was she not upset? Why wasn’t she yelling? “Go on.” She encouraged lightly pushing me towards the stairs.
When I was finished, she told me to stay in my room until my dad got home.
I winced when the front door slammed shut. “COLT! You come down here right now young man!” Dad yelled. Not wanting to upset him more, I quickly went downstairs and stood a few feet in front of him. Mom was standing in the doorway to the living room. “Do you want to tell me why Tom talked to me today?” He had his hands in fists on his hips
“W-well-“ I started, but he cut me off.
“Why on Earth did he say that you are gay? Do you know what the town would say about us? Learning that the great-grandson of Captain James Jarr is gay? Why would you choose something like this for yourself?” He aggressively took a step toward me, but Mom intervened.
“Mason. I know you are upset, but this is our child. Colt is just as upset as you are. How would you feel if when you confessed to me, I not only rejected you but reported you as well?” She asked stepping in front of him, in between us. His face changed like he had eaten something sour.
“How can you be asking me that Mary? You know people like that can’t be trusted. How do you expect me to sleep under the same roof as him?”
“So, all of a sudden because he has found a new part of himself, he is no longer your son?” She asked walking back and wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“That is exactly what I’m saying. I’m also asking why aren’t you saying the same thing? We obviously failed somewhere if he turned out like this. We don’t have this kind of thing anywhere around us. He played with cars; he never went with you to the kitchen. I just don’t understand where we failed as parents!”
“We didn’t fail as parents. You failed as a father when you chose to let all of those awful things about our child come out of your mouth. We are leaving.” She said before dragging me out of the house. Dad ran out behind us yelling things, but I couldn’t hear him as Mom turned on the radio in the car. Once we were away from the house she turned the radio down, pulled over, and turned to look at me.
“Why did you say that stuff to dad? Are you leaving him?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, I am. I’m not going to stay with someone who said those awful things about my baby. I love you, Colt. No matter what you do or who you love. I know we taught you some pretty messed-up principles, but this is nothing you should be ashamed of. You were born this way and it has nothing to do with how we raised you.” She smiled at me causing me to smile back.
“Thanks, mom, you have no idea how much that helps,” I said as she began to drive again.
Finally got a chance to think about all the events that sank in. How could my own father say those hurtful things about me? I thought I would be upset but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel free. My thoughts came to a stop as the car slowed to a stop.
“Good evening, ma’am, sorry to bother you but we’ve been given a report of a *ahem* Westerner in the area. We are doing checks to make sure we catch him if he tries to leave town,” A police officer said. There were only two ways in and out of town, so a blockade made sense.
“Oh, I do hope you find him. We were just going to the store; we have to go one out of town due to my special diet.” Mom replied with a smile as if she wasn’t sitting right next to the “westerner”.
“Alright, well we won’t keep you long ma’am. We are just going to do a face check real quick.” He said and then gestured to someone behind him. My eyes widened as Tom was brought up to the car.
“That’s him, officer. That’s the westerner.” Tom said with a nod while pointing at me.
“That’s not true! Give my boy the chance to explain himself. I raised him right, young man.” Mom said then nodded at me.
“Well, in class today we were talking about the Rainbow War, I was asking some questions about the blue side. Tom must’ve taken me asking questions the wrong way sir. I swear I would never stoop so low to be like them.” I said the lies left a bad taste in my mouth.
“Alright, you can go. But I’m gonna need your contact information. Please don’t leave the state until this issue is handled.” He nodded. Mom gave him our information and we drove past them. Tom gave me a dirty look as we did.
We were about an hour into the drive when mom said, “I may say some things to others in the East, but it doesn’t change how I feel. You are my son whether you like girls or boys. I have to lie to keep you safe. I promise that once we get to the West, I will never say another harsh word about you or others like you.” I smiled at her and nodded before laying down to sleep.
# # #
“Colt. Colt, wake up.” Mom said shaking my shoulder. I sat up in the car and stretched my back. We were still moving, “We are almost there.”
“Where are we going? Where are we?” I asked looking around the unfamiliar area.
“We are in Colorado, and we are going somewhere you should’ve known about a long time ago.” She said pulling to a stop in front of a small one-story house. Almost as soon as we stopped, a small old man walked out. “Colt that is your great-grandfather, James.”
I was shocked. “But he should be dead! It says in all our history books. We have his obituary framed in our house! Not to mention, he is almost 100 years old.”
Before she could reply, another old man came out of the house. “That is your great-grandfather, Jason. About a week after my dad was born, James was caught in the crossfire. They couldn’t find a body, so he was reported MIA. After five years, Grandma Mary gave up and had a funeral. When you were around 2 years old, James found me, and we stayed in contact. He is going to teach you so much, Honey.”
Phoenix Jones // BluePhoenixBirb 